Her Sins
by Unknown lazy ass
Summary: Everybody makes mistakes and sometimes it's minor, still we regret.
1. Sin: Sloth

Title: Her Sins.

Summary: Matsumoto is a woman that regrets but rarely stopped to look back on her mistakes, that was until he left her.

Chapter One: Sloth

_To be inconsiderate and depressed_

_-Sloth_

It was a busy day and here she was spending it on her childhood friend's couch. Empty bottles of yesterday's saka was scattered all around her and her company was gone. She was used to it after so many years of the same repeated crap. And yet could never stop hoping that maybe one morning she'll be able to wake up and feel the warmth beside her. Instead every morning she's greeted by the blinding sun and a heavy hang-over.

Maybe, just maybe one morning he'll be there, hopefully before her liver fails her.

Groggily she rose from the comfy couch and started to glance around her surrounding, nothing out of the ordinary, Kira and a couple of other men she couldn't recognize was on the floors drowning in their own drool. All of them drinking friend's of Gin. Some burnt noodles and half empty side-dishes were found on the counter along with a poorly done job of mopped up puke.

Yes, nothing out of the ordinary, just her typical after-party morning.

Suddenly a sharp knock came from the door, after so long she couldn't stand to keep listening to the muffled banging. Before she could properly answer the door, the knocker invited himself in. Up until now she hadn't put much thought to how many shades his hair carried, sure the white hue stood out like smoke in a forest but it was different from now. As her eyes traced down his face her stormy eyes widened.

"So this is how you spend your free-time, what a mess."

"Taichou?"

"I'm surprised you are even able to recall addressing me correctly, after all this…drinking." His voice is like winter water, and it splashes over her face, awaking her from her drowsy state.

"Taichou…"

"I stand corrected. Seems like all that drinking has completely rotted that brain of yours," even if his voice is cold, his eyes are what really takes her breath away.

He stood there in front of the door with a scowl on his lips but through her eyes he was her knight in shining armour. His teal-blue eyes threatened to freeze her ass unless she moved it, and yet all she saw was concern. Smiling she gathered herself up before throwing herself at him. Smothering her large assets against his face she greeted, "Good-morning Taichou!"

Her cheery voice is almost foreign to his ears but he's face turns scarlet and his voice slightly cracks, and then he remembers. This was Matsumoto, his lazy, clumsy, alcoholic Fukutaichou, the only person he trusts to watch his back.

"MA-MA-MATSUMOTO!!!"


	2. Sin: Gluttony

Title: Her Sins.

Summary: Matsumoto is a woman that regrets but rarely stopped to look back on her mistakes, that was until he left her.

Chapter Two: Gluttony

_Unreasonable or unnecessary excess of consumption_

_-Gluttony_

She's awake and past her limit. Drowning her cup she manages to snatch yet another drink without her friends noticing. Though it really wasn't all that hard since most of them were already hammered. Her eyes scan over her company in shame, they all deserved better. Someone that was more sober, more happier than she was, and someone that was honest.

Grinning bitterly she played with her half empty glass, letting it dangle in her grasp she continued to watch the foggy liquid dance against the glass walls. Finally she drinks it all.

She couldn't handle anymore and her stomach desposited it's containments to let her know.

Whipping the eariler meals away she swollowed another bottle full of saka to wash the sour taste away. Her body warns her for another round so she finally stops but she has already consumed more than she should've. With two-left feet she staggers towards the exit of the bar. After stumbling two more times she felt her vision blur and her world starts to spin.

Right before she fell a man yanked her up by her shoulder. He stares at her through slates, smirking a crooked smile he carried her back to where she belonged. Light rain patted down on their heads until finally he was faced with a door. With a mere knock the boy answered.

"Gin?"

"Ah, always good't see ya To'shiro."

His eyes narrowed before they settled on the woman in the man's arms. Immediately his eyes softened but it was barely noticable, except by Gin. The captain merely grinned his usual before explaining, "Hmm…it seems th't she over drank 'gain." Without another word Hitsugaya invited the two into his house, she was his responsibitly not Gin's. He should've been the one to carry her back.

After settling her on Hitsugaya's bed Gin headed outside to leave but before-hand he stated "Take good care 'f her."

The words were hardly audible but he caught it. It took him by surprise, he had never been close with the man and he had always wondered what drew his subordinate to this cold-hearted captain that bore a twisted smile.

He watched the man leave and she did too. As he walked out that door, he also walked out of her world, never to return again. Having him around caused her pain and trying to consume this pain would be impossible.

Still that warmth she felt leeking out from him drowns her, even now.


	3. Sin: Lust

Title: Her Sins.

Summary: Matsumoto is a woman that regrets but rarely stopped to look back on her mistakes, that was until he left her.

Chapter Three: Lust

_To desire when it is not necessary_

_-Lust _

You would never see it in her eyes or on her face but he could tell she was a rather lonely girl. When he had saved her, she did not thank him, instead she gave him company. Slowly she began to grow on him, and so he started to pull away. He wasn't ready for someone to cling to him, to rely on him, to wait for him. He needed his space, he wanted his freedom. So the night he abandoned her, he shattered her, burned her to ashes.

Who could've guessed she broke a bit of him as well?

And just like that, he was the one that was clingy. His eyes hid under his skin and he refused to open up. His once perfect shell of independence had been cracked. She had done it without him noticing. Clever as she was, he could do better. The days slowly passed by and he began to miss his little playmate but he didn't go back, for she had someone else now.

Someone more kind and understanding but he could never love her as he did. This someone would hold her in his arms whenever she was down. He could pull her out of her bad drinking habits. Someone that she needed far more than him. Someone the exact opposite of him. Yet even with all that, he would never be able to fully erase the memories he had imprinted in her mind.

He was a twisted, cruel man but like his zanpakutou he was possessive. He would protect her and shield her from the worst but would never fully open himself up to her.

Rudy eyes strayed from reality and tried to recall her words.

-----

Crickets could be heard chirping outside her open bedroom window and a cool breeze was blowing in time to time causing the window curtains to dance. It was just another hazy day in paradise... _Where are you going, Gin... You can stay with me, can't you? Gin... Why? Why... you never answered me. Where were you running to?_ She rolled her head to the side and watched the curtains ripple with the passing breezes. She had always hated being alone. It was during these times, when it was only her and herself, that she couldn't avoid thinking and dwelling into the past. _Rangi-chan... yatayata, yer so damn clingy ain't ya? I ain't goin' no where ya wanna be. So, jus keep holdin' on ta me and enjoy what we got._ Clutching her fists tightly, Matsumoto stared off silently. _I couldn't hold on to you, Gin... you bastard._ She shut her eyes, struggling to hold back tears, "I hate you." Sobbing, she whispered again, "I hate you so much." It was the memories that always seemed to torture her. Long ago, she was unable to hold on to Gin who slipped through her grasp.

Despite this, she never let go.


	4. Sin: Greed

Title: Her Sins.

Summary: Matsumoto is a woman that regrets but rarely stopped to look back on her mistakes, that was until he left her.

Chapter Four: Greed

_An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves _

_-Greed_

She didn't want wealth, fame, or status. All she ever wanted was his love, but she supposed that was just too much for her to ask. Frowning she peered through the window, the morning sun seemed too bright. The whole word seemed a bit different without him here; sighing she murmured under her breath, "I don't need him."

"Don't need who?"

His piercing voice startles her. Letting a silent yelp slip she turned around to face her Taichou. For a split second he looked just like that back-stabbing bastard, it was his striking silver locks. Stormy eyes narrowed before realizing she was getting upset with the wrong person. Smiling she cheery waved the question aside, "Oh no one important Taichou!"

"Che whatever," his eyes dart away and shimmer with irritation.

She isn't a fool and immediately picks up on her captain's mood; it was obvious he was distressed about something. "Taichou…?"

"We have a mission," his eyes refuse to meet hers. "It's about Gin."

His name sends shivers down her spine and she starts to tremble slightly. Gritting her teeth she forces a smile, she needs to be strong. Atleast around Hitsugaya, she can't let him see her tears. He has far more important things to worry about, and if she started to cry then he would waste his time on her. Because he was sweet like that, cause unlike Gin he actually gave a damn about her.

"Matsumoto?"

For a moment his voice held traces of _him_, she unconsciously whispers "Don't leave me…not yet…please?" Hitsugaya steps towards her with concern clearly showing on his face, he catches the last bit, "_Gin." _

He supposed he was being selfish to push her into this but he had thought she was ready. Hoping she was finally over the traitor, cursing silently he continued to approach her. When he was only a foot away she started to chuckle. Unlike her usual cheery voice, it came out so dull and bitter.

_"Matsumoto…?"_

Slowly her raspy laughter dies out to a sob. His hand grasps her shoulder and pulls her towards him. He's lost for words and uncomfortable with the situation, especially as she starts to whimper out the asshole's name.

She would never know about his feelings, she will never be truly free from Gin's hold, for she is too absorbed with missing him that she can't move on.


End file.
